Mikaela Shiffrin has been through a difficult time. © AFP / PIERRE TEYSSOT

Shiffrin's dark thoughts: "When I saw all the blood..."

Despite the serious injury she sustained at the end of November, Mikaela Shiffrin promptly returned to the top of the world of alpine skiing. However, she was plagued by dark thoughts along the way.

31 May 2025

From: never

“I wasn’t scared when I went down – none,” wrote Mikaela Shiffrin in her post on the platform The Players' Tribune and assessed the moments surrounding her serious fall in the Killington giant slalom at the end of November. "Even when I slid on my back into the bright red fence, I wasn't afraid. There was no room in my brain for that. The only thing I felt was pain. That was all. Nothing else."

It was a different injury than any other. Shiffrin suffered severe muscle trauma that day, and the puncture wound in the right side of her abdomen was the most distressing for the American. The pictures of her injury, which the two-time Olympic champion herself published, went around the world. Around three months later, she celebrated the gold medal in the team combined event at the Ski World Championships in Saalbach-Hinterglemm, together with Breezy Johnson. But for the 30-year-old, the period in between didn't feel like a flash in time. It was a rocky road back to the slopes.

Shiffrin: “That was when we saw the blood”

Describing the pain is a difficult task. "It was as if I hadn't just been stabbed with a knife, but the knife was still inside me," Shiffrin said. However, the initial checks at the scene of the accident didn't identify the wound, leaving the eight-time world champion in the dark. However, everything changed in the ambulance.

"And when I saw all the blood, it wasn't just pain anymore. That's when I started to get really scared." Mikaela Shiffrin

"At one point they cut my clothes off, and that was the first time that... That was when we saw the blood," said Shiffrin. "And when I saw all that blood, it wasn't just pain anymore. That's when I started to get really scared." The fact that the puncture was only a millimeter from the colon gave her a sense of relief. And a normalizing effect. "I treated everything related to my recovery like any other injury I had experienced," she explained. But she soon realized that this wasn't the case.

Shiffrin and the long way back

Rehab, gym, hard training, and the first few meters on snow – that's how Shiffrin envisioned the following weeks. Surprisingly, the last step was the most difficult. "When I got back on the snow – the part I hoped would be fun and fulfilling again – something strange happened," she said. "For some reason, everything on my training runs felt awful, and so far from what I actually wanted."

Mikaela Shiffrin felt great fear. © ANSA / Pontus Lundahl

The turns were off, the movements were wrong. "Everything was just... bad," Shiffrin noted. "It was like there was this weird disconnect between my body and my mind. And that was definitely scary." Especially in a sport like hers, such a situation can be extremely dangerous. "And having just had my delightful little encounter with the outer lining of my colon, I wasn't particularly open to exploring the dangers of ski racing," she said, describing her concerns.

Shiffrin faces her fears

This sudden helplessness in her own world was frustrating. "And at the same time so dark," Shiffrin added. She couldn't learn anything from her fall; it wasn't a simple mistake—it was simply bad luck. "I just had to get back on the horse. But my mind wasn't prepared for something like that." She subsequently experienced some "extremely bad moments," and doubts dominated her daily life. At times, she even considered ending her career: "In my head, I said to myself, 'You know what? I don't really care if I ever race again.'"

"I had to remind myself again and again [...] that in the vast majority of cases, when I train or race, nothing bad happens." Mikaela Shiffrin

In conversations with her therapist, she eventually touched on the aspect of post-traumatic stress disorder. She also learned that overcoming her fears was related to direct confrontation. "Just literally going up the mountain and doing what I can, over and over again," Shiffrin said. "I had to keep reminding myself [...] that in the vast majority of cases, when I'm training or racing, nothing bad happens."

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Some time later, Shiffrin ventured back onto the slopes – and continued her phenomenal career. World Championship gold in Saalbach-Hinterglemm, World Cup victories number 100 and 101, no separation between head and mind. "It's just totally synchronized. I feel it with every fiber of my being. And I can only smile with gratitude," she wrote in conclusion. "Because finally, I feel like myself again."