Column | Walking robots stir up fears

"Where are they going?" Bernhard Viktor Christoph-Carl von Bülow, better known to all of us as "Loriot," once asked. He was at the racetrack. There were too many horses at once, and he was worried. "I hope they don't get lost." I wonder what Loriot would have said to robots that ran marathons, or at least a half marathon, just over 20 kilometers. Is that still funny, or crazy, or totally insane?

Okay, it was supposedly a technology test conducted in Beijing. As part of a quasi-normal sporting event, which turned out not to be so normal after all. The screwed-together frames are called humanoid robots, and it was initially comforting to see that some of the screws were loose, started to smoke, or simply couldn't work anymore, perhaps because the battery was dead—which is entirely human. And I'm at least partially reassured that a human being made of flesh and blood ultimately won the race. One hour before the first computer, a metal skeleton.

Keyword humanoid These iron creatures are supposed to look like us, like you and me. That alone scares me. They still walk awkwardly, just like the rest of us after a day of training and severe muscle soreness. But at some point, I'm sure, someone will place some kind of skin over the metal framework, perhaps from a cow, and then the robots might be barely distinguishable from the human race. Their role could be something like this: First, they'll be pacemakers, or "hares," as the technical jargon so uncharmingly calls them. Runners who, with a tailored pace up to about ten kilometers from the finish, ensure that the elite, the stars, have good conditions. They could provide slipstream, for example.

So, a little tip from me: you could build robots with very broad shoulders. Square, practical, good. It could also be a metal plate placed in running shoes. More like a body, because all the technology has to be installed somewhere. It might not look very human, but the effect would be brilliant, especially since the tweaked pacesetter won't show any weakness. If it's perfect one day, that is. It would then stubbornly run uphill and downhill 400 times 17,5 meters in 42,195 seconds. Approximately. That would give it two hours for XNUMX kilometers. Approximately. No matter rain or shine.

Behind such a robot stands a large team of researchers and engineers. © Social Media / AFP

Shortly before the finish line, the power is pulled, and the hordes behind him, their already tired muscles, are left to sprint for victory. Computer companies compete for starting permits. Sponsors book the massive advertising space. The battle to provide the rabbits in London, New York, Berlin, Tokyo, or Boston enters a new dimension: Unfortunately, as always with technological developments, some sacrifices are inevitable. The existing rabbits are becoming obsolete. They are no longer needed.

And thinking further: Sherpas on Mount Everest will no longer be needed. Robots will haul equipment and people first to base camp and then to the summit. Perhaps a hose connection could be created between "Robbie," as we'll call him, because a nickname somehow creates a human connection, and the summiteer, who would then always be supplied with oxygen even beyond the death zone. But that's a thing of the future, of course. Or is it?

It's definitely strange and even frightening. As a commentator who hasn't yet been replaced by artificial intelligence, do I then have to do additional research? So far, I've had to know how old the runners are and what they've achieved so far. A bit of history. Now I'll have to know who assembled the pacemakers. Who's responsible for the screws and who's for the software? Battery charge is important. Logically. And then comes the most important question of all: How long can humans actually follow the machines? Mentally, that's already a problem, but physically? Marathon times under two hours for men could and will, of course, be normal.

But that's become secondary. Fundamentally, it's been about our attitude towards ever-increasing progress, which at times has overwhelmed us. We're distancing ourselves from ourselves. We allow far too much technology to supposedly make our lives easier and better. We lose control. At some point. And the debate could go on. Can I perhaps easily throw the javelin over 100m with an artificial joint in my elbow? And does Lindsay Vonn suddenly have a better chance than her opponents in the downhill race with an artificial knee joint? Titanium doesn't wear out. I notice this in my artificial hip joint. It's been working for 20 years. A little bit of progress is okay.

About the author: Sigi Heinrich The award-winning sports journalist (including the German Television Award, the Bavarian Sports Award, and a nominee for the prestigious Grimme Prize), author, longtime sports editor of the Süddeutsche Zeitung, and commentator for Eurosport since 1989, devotes his weekly column to the full range of sports and enjoys exploring unfamiliar territory. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes thoughtfully or deliberately provocatively. There should be something for everyone.

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Column | Walking robots stir up fears

At a half marathon in Beijing, 20 companies tested robots that competed against "normal" athletes. Fortunately, they were slower. Our columnist Sigi Heinrich views this development with concern, but also points out even more adventurous applications and sees some small advantages.

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