Erotico Madrid presented itself flawlessly.

MythosMorktplotz: Of serial offenders and warm cyclists

The preliminary round matches at MythosMorktplotz are history. The final group matches were played on Friday – now it's all about the big game.

July 12, 2025

From: pm

GROUP I

The first big surprise: The Ringen Teifl bow out of the tournament without a trace. The finalist of the 31st edition? They scored exactly one point.

Group I was no picnic – more of a chili challenge.
How else can you explain that Green Bull Girlan, despite being the worst third-placed team in their group, is also the top scorer in the group stage? Felix Leimgruber scored five times – a tally that even Harry Kane would have taken a moment to listen to. His hat trick in the opening game against FC Saufhampton is particularly memorable. That game had so many plot twists that M. Night Shyamalan is probably still sitting in the audience taking notes.

Also in full swing: Erotico Madrid. Nine points from three games, no goals conceded, no compromises.

1. Erotico Madrid 9
2. FC Saufhampton 4
3. Green Bull Girlan 2
4. Wrestling Part 1

GROUP J

Shots are fired here, too. Simon Oberrauch, the eternal terror of Morktplotz's defenders, has struck again in 2025. Four goals, a Freddy Krueger-like aura in the penalty area, and group victory for Celtic Glasbeer.

Parasol Rangers, the local heroes, fought their way to second place with heart and determination. Rumor has it that their third half was even more solid than their defense—but both were impressive.

One game in particular stands out: Brexit FC demolished FC AntiStoller 7-0. This wasn't just a defeat—it was a case for forensics. This game deserves a memorial stone: "At this spot, FC AntiStoller was mercilessly dismantled."

1. Celtic Glass Beer 7
2. Parasol Rangers 5
3. Brexit FC 4
4. FC AntiStoller 0

GROUP K

And here, too, a team marched through the preliminary round without dropping a point: Die Goldwaage. The fact that they are among the favorites was about as surprising as the weather forecast on the news—that is, not at all.

The real surprise, however, came from FC La Piazza. Originally a last-minute substitute, they ended up not in last place, but in second place.

Things didn't go so well for the Forchwold Brazilians. Three games, three losses – a record as bitter as a warm shandy. They are among those teams that will leave without a point but with plenty of stories to tell.

1. The gold scales 9
2. FC La Piazza 4
3. Pustertal craps out of 4
4. Forchwold Brazilian 0